Hey peepz,
i was hoping for sum1 2 help me alter anotha script....again i'm not good at this so if u can help me and also bear with me if ma queries are stupid :rolleyes: .
i have this fun script and i wanna extract certain parts and get rid of certain parts if possible.
i would love it if onlee Masters would be able to use it....also i want it so +tc Tommy Cooper joke's can b left out.
The main part of this script i want is the +gag which users cnt get out of and i jus want masters 2 b able 2 use it.
if it is possible 2 keep the +drunk, +beer and +kenny that would b even better.
+tc and +slap can b removed. i only want part of this script
hope i havent confused u and i hope u can help
thanx a lot! i appreciate the vast amount of help i get!
scripts is as follows
-- *********************************************************************************************************
-- * Scriptname: Funscript? *
-- * Version: 2.0 *
-- * Author: Solian *
-- * Description: *
-- * Welcome to Funscript, a custom made script that enables users to perform fun cmds on the hub *
-- * This script was made from some ideas I had for different scripts, they have been combined *
-- * into this final script. *
-- * *
-- * Command list: *
-- * +funscript on/off Turns the script on or off. *
-- * *
-- * +beer Sends a truck to the hub, with the msg inside *
-- * *
-- * +gag on Command for ops to gag people, this will not be reset when people reconnect. *
-- * +gag off Ungag the person again. *
-- * +gag off all Ungags all users that are listed as gagged. *
-- * *
-- * +kenny on Turns the user into kenny from southpark, the user will only type encrypted msgs *
-- * +kenny off Turns the user into his/her normal self *
-- * +kenny off all Turns all users back to their normal selves *
-- * *
-- * +drunk on Turns the user into a drunken user *
-- * +drunk off Turns the user normal *
-- * +drunk off all Turns all users back to normal *
-- * *
-- * +slap Random slap msg on a user *
-- * +tc Tommy Cooper joke *
-- * *
-- *********************************************************************************************************
-- * VARS THAT CAN BE CHANGED TO FIT YOUR NEEDS *
-- *********************************************************************************************************
-- * Path to the ptokax RegisteredUsers.dat file, used to make sure you only gag/kenny people that are regged *
regfilename = "../RegisteredUsers.dat" -- Remember it's / in scripting not \
-- *********************************************************************************************************
-- * These are the times. min = the script timer, set to 1 minute. mins = the number of minutes a person is drunk *
min = ( 1* 60) * 1000 -- 1 = mins, 60 = seconds, 1000 = miliseconds aka 1 minute ;)
-- *********************************************************************************************************
-- * Triggers for the script *
kenny = "!kenny"
gag = "!gag"
ungag = "!ungag"
drunk = "!drunk"
slap = "!slap"
tc = "!tc"
beer = "!beer"
funscript = "!funscript"
-- *********************************************************************************************************
-- * These are used if you are increasing the size of the slaps, kenny msgs or drunken msgs *
drunkcount = 17 -- the number of drunk messages that are in the system, increase this as you add more.
slapcount = 39 -- the number of slaps in the system
jokecount = 40 -- the number of TC jokes in the system
kennycount = 27 -- the number of kenny msgs in the system
msgmaxcount = 10 -- the max number of msgs a user can post in modes, to prevent flooding.
maxtime = 20 -- the max minutes a user can be in a mode.
-- REMEMBER TO ADD MSGS IN THE GETDRUNKMSG,GETSLAPMSG,GETKENNYMSG functions
-- *********************************************************************************************************
-- * Bot Names! In case you wanna change the nicks to something else *
Bot = "Fun Script" -- The name of my cute little script
beerbot = "Beer Bot" -- Name of the bot that handles the beer truck and the drunk mode
tcbot = "TC"
-- *********************************************************************************************************
-- * Default activation of the script *
scriptstatus = "on" -- Default the funscript is activated on the hub
-- ***************************** END OF EDITING!!! *******************************************************
-- * PLEASE DO NOT CHANGE CODE AFTER THIS POINT UNLESS YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING *
-- You can edit the jokes and slaps below if you want, but please remember if you add more slaps or jokes *
-- make sure you change the counts as well! *
-- *********************************************************************************************************
-- * Tables to keep users, slaps, tc jokes and etc. in *
drunkusers = {} -- Table containing people that are in drunk mode
drunkmsgstatus = {} -- Table containing the used drunk messages to prevent dupes from appearing
kennyusers ={} -- user table used for the kenny command
kennymsgstatus ={} -- status on each user if the kenny command is activated on them or not
gaggedusers ={} -- user table used for the gag command
tcstatus ={} -- Table containing the used TC jokes
slapstatus = {} -- Table containing the slap status of each slap to prevent dupes ofcourse
-- *********************************************************************************************************
function Main()
SetTimer(min)
StartTimer()
end
function getUser(regfilename,user)
-- Descrition: getUser(regfilename,user) access the user dat file to post a single user into the
-- Commandbot PM.
local found = "False"
readfrom(regfilename) -- Lets read from the regfilename variable
while 1 do
local s, e, line, userName, pass, rank, lowcasenick = nil
local line = read() -- Local variable that is set to read each line
if line == nil then -- If line is empty then stop listing
break
else
s,e,userName,pass,rank = strfind(line, "([^$]+)|([^$]+)|([^$]+)") -- Gets the user, password and their profile id
lowcasenick = strlower(userName)
if lowcasenick == user then
found = "True"
readfrom() -- Command call that it needs to read from the regfilename to get the next user in the line
return rank
end -- if lowcasenick == user then
end -- if line == nil then
end -- while 1 do
readfrom() -- Command call that it needs to read from the regfilename to get the next user in the line
if found == "False" then
local rank = "5"
return rank
end -- end of if found == "False" then
end -- End of function getUser(regfilename,user)
function Get3Arg(data)
local s,e, cmd, onoff, nick = nil
s,e,cmd,onoff,nick= strfind(data,"%b<>%s(%S+)%s(%S+)%s(%S+)")
return strlower(cmd),strlower(onoff),strlower(nick)
end
function Get2Arg(data)
local s,e, cmd, onoff = nil
s,e,cmd,onoff= strfind(data,"%b<>%s(%S+)%s([^$]+)")
return strlower(cmd),onoff
end
function Get1Arg(data)
local s,e, cmd, onoff = nil
s,e,cmd = strfind(data,"%b<>%s(%S+)")
if (cmd == nil) then
return "error"
else
return strlower(cmd)
end
end
function OnTimer()
DeleteUser(drunkusers)
DeleteUser(kennyusers)
DeleteUser(gaggedusers)
end
function AddUser(user,usertable)
userandtime = nil
userandtime = user.."?".."0".."?"..0
tinsert(usertable, userandtime)
end
function DeleteUser(usertable)
local size = getn(usertable)
var = 0
for i=1,size do
var= var + 1
local usernick,minutes,userandtime,msgmaxcount,numbertime = nil
s,e,usernick,minutes,msgmaxcount = strfind( rawget(usertable,var),"([^$]+)?([^$]+)?([^$]+)")
userandtime = usernick.."?"..minutes.."?"..msgmaxcount
numbertime = tonumber(minutes)
if (numbertime < maxtime) then
numbertime = numbertime + 1
tremove(usertable,var)
tinsert(usertable,usernick.."?"..numbertime.."?"..msgmaxcount)
end
if (numbertime == maxtime) then
tremove(usertable,var)
end
end
end
function GetNumber(count,status)
number = nil
local size = nil
number = random(1,count)
local size = getn(status)
if (size == nil) then
size = 10
end
var1 = 0
if ( size == count) then
local var1 = 0
for i=1,size do
var1 = var1 + 1
tremove(status,var1)
end
end
var2 = 0
for i=1,size do
var2 = var2 + 1
if (rawget(status,var2) == "number"..number) then
return "false",number
end
end
return "true",number
end
function GetDrunkMsg(user)
boolean, drunknumber = nil
boolean, drunknumber = GetNumber(drunkcount,drunkmsgstatus)
while (boolean == "false") do
boolean, drunknumber = GetNumber(drunkcount,drunkmsgstatus)
end
if (drunknumber == 1) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number1")
SendToAll(user,"geee thanks a beer *hick* *drool*")
elseif (drunknumber == 2) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number2")
SendToAll(user,"Wow.. *hick*... *cough*... you're.... *cough*... hot... *hick*")
elseif (drunknumber == 3) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number3")
SendToAll(user,"Crap, I have to pee.... *drinking*... oh wait.. too late")
elseif (drunknumber == 4) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number4")
SendToAll(user,"*cough* hey guys!!!! IT'S PARTY TIME!!!!")
elseif (drunknumber == 5) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number5")
SendToAll(user,"*hick* look at me, I'm dancinggggg.....")
elseif (drunknumber == 6) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number6")
SendToAll(user,"I WANT TUBORG")
elseif (drunknumber == 7) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number7")
SendToAll(user,"*cough* damn people in here look hot... wanna get it on ?")
elseif (drunknumber == 8) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number8")
SendToAll(user,"I WANT BUDWEISER!!!!")
elseif (drunknumber == 9) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number9")
SendToAll(user,"I feel so good *puking*")
elseif (drunknumber == 10) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number10")
SendToAll(user,"HEY WHO STOLE MY BEER ?!?!?!")
elseif (drunknumber == 11) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number11")
SendToAll(user,"Look I'm drunk looooooooooooool")
elseif (drunknumber == 12) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number12")
SendToAll(user,"Carslberg, is that a swedish town ? *hick*")
elseif (drunknumber == 13) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number13")
SendToAll(user,"shit.. I'm *hick* drunk")
elseif (drunknumber == 14) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number14")
SendToAll(user,"anybody got a bucket ? *barfing*")
elseif (drunknumber == 15) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number15")
SendToAll(user,"Why is everything upside down?")
elseif (drunknumber == 16) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number16")
SendToAll(user,"are you saying mushrooms are better than BEER ????")
elseif (drunknumber == 17) then
tinsert(drunkmsgstatus,"number17")
SendToAll(user,"I do get horny when I'm drunk.... kewl")
end
end
function GetKennyMsg(user)
boolean, kennynumber = nil
boolean, kennynumber = GetNumber(kennycount,kennymsgstatus)
while (boolean == "false") do
boolean, kennynumber = GetNumber(kennycount,kennymsgstatus)
end
continued 2
if (kennynumber == 1) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number1")
SendToAll(user,"*mflf* *lmmf* *uullu* *umfmm* *mumuff* *lmuul* *lluu* *mlmlff* *lfumfl* *umfl* *uuffum* *luuuuu* *ffll* *fmmuff* *mulfuf*")
elseif (kennynumber == 2) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number2")
SendToAll(user,"*umfl* *uuffum*")
elseif (kennynumber == 3) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number3")
SendToAll(user,"*lluu* *mlmlff* *umfl* *lfumfl* *umfl* ")
elseif (kennynumber == 4) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number4")
SendToAll(user,"*lmmf* *uullu* *mmmm*")
elseif (kennynumber == 5) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number5")
SendToAll(user,"*ommlu* *uullu* *lmmf* *ommlu* *mflf*")
elseif (kennynumber == 6) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number6")
SendToAll(user,"*olomum* *lmmf* *mhhhmmlm*")
elseif (kennynumber == 7) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number7")
SendToAll(user,"*Mhhl* *mujm* *umfl*")
elseif (kennynumber == 8) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number8")
SendToAll(user,"*uullu* *wmuulmom* *grrrrr* *lmmf* *muhumom*")
elseif (kennynumber == 9) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number9")
SendToAll(user,"*lmmf* *uullu* *umfl* ")
elseif (kennynumber == 10) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number10")
SendToAll(user,"*mummmmmmmmmm* *lmmf* *uullu* *mmmmmmmhmhm*")
elseif (kennynumber == 11) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number11")
SendToAll(user,"*mmjmmjhm* *oouummulool*")
elseif (kennynumber == 12) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number12")
SendToAll(user,"*mnnnmhm* *mmmuuhumom*")
elseif (kennynumber == 13) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number13")
SendToAll(user,"*mlmlolom* *oollooouuu* *mhmmhmhmh*")
elseif (kennynumber == 14) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number14")
SendToAll(user,"*hmehmehhme* *uullu* *mmmummmhum* ?")
elseif (kennynumber == 15) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number15")
SendToAll(user,"*MHMHMHMHOHUM* ")
elseif (kennynumber == 16) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number16")
SendToAll(user,"*mmmlllumlum* *ffll* *lmmf* *uullu*")
elseif (kennynumber == 17) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number17")
SendToAll(user,"*fhhmfm* *mhlllmlu*")
elseif (kennynumber == 18) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number18")
SendToAll(user,"*lmmf* *mumuff* *lmuul*")
elseif (kennynumber == 19) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number19")
SendToAll(user,"*uullu* *mmmmumumumumooom* *lmmf* ")
elseif (kennynumber == 20) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number20")
SendToAll(user,"*mumuff* *lmuul* *uullu* *Mhhl* ")
elseif (kennynumber == 21) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number21")
SendToAll(user,"*lmmf* *uullu* *Mhhl*")
elseif (kennynumber == 22) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number22")
SendToAll(user,"*mhhmmmmmf* *uullu*")
elseif (kennynumber == 23) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number23")
SendToAll(user,"*hmmllf* *hmmmmmmhlhum*")
elseif (kennynumber == 24) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number24")
SendToAll(user,"*wmmmwhhhm* *looomulu*")
elseif (kennynumber == 25) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number25")
SendToAll(user,"*Nooooooo* *mmhmum*")
elseif (kennynumber == 26) then
tinsert(kennymsgstatus,"number26")
SendToAll(user,"*ghmmmm* *mmmhoum*")
end
end
function GetSlapMsg(user,insulted)
slapnumber = nil
name = user
boolean, slapnumber = GetNumber(slapcount,slapstatus)
while (boolean == "false") do
boolean, slapnumber = GetNumber(slapcount,slapstatus)
end
if (slapnumber == 1) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number1")
SendToAll(name.." slaps "..insulted .." around with a big large trout")
elseif (slapnumber == 2) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number2")
SendToAll(name.." sticks a dildo up in the ass on "..insulted.." and turns it on")
elseif (slapnumber == 3) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number3")
SendToAll(name.." thinks that "..insulted.." smells like a 120 year old dead body ")
elseif (slapnumber == 4) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number4")
SendToAll(name.." takes a big truck and runs over "..insulted)
elseif (slapnumber == 5) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number5")
SendToAll(name.." thinks that "..insulted.." is retarded")
elseif (slapnumber == 6) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number6")
SendToAll(name.." throws a 2000 pages thick Solaris manual in "..insulted.."'s head")
elseif (slapnumber == 7) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number7")
SendToAll(name.." gives "..insulted.." a candle and says : Now it's time for you to learn how to blow... literally")
elseif (slapnumber == 8) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number8")
SendToAll(name.." says to "..insulted.." : I know some pull it off but damn you are just fucking ugly")
elseif (slapnumber == 9) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number9")
SendToAll(name.." looks at "..insulted.." and suddenly runs away in fear of the fat blob")
elseif (slapnumber == 10) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number10")
SendToAll(name.." slaps "..insulted.." around a bit with his Hairy, Slimy, Smelly, RadioActive trout!")
elseif (slapnumber == 11) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number11")
SendToAll(name.." looks at "..insulted.." and says, watch out, if you continue you'll become like Bob and nobody wants that")
elseif (slapnumber == 12) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number12")
SendToAll(name.." tells "..insulted .." : I saw your mother last night, how long is it since they started using a crane to transport her around ?")
elseif (slapnumber == 13) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number13")
SendToAll(name.." laughs at "..insulted .." : I see ugly people each day, but you top them all")
elseif (slapnumber == 14) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number14")
SendToAll(name.." slaps "..insulted .." around with a big black dude")
elseif (slapnumber == 15) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number15")
SendToAll(name.." gives "..insulted .." a lollipop and says : Here you go you little crybaby")
elseif (slapnumber == 16) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number16")
SendToAll(name.." tells "..insulted .." : You need to pull yourself together, nobody likes a loser")
elseif (slapnumber == 17) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number17")
SendToAll(name.." slaps "..insulted .." around with a slutty hooker")
elseif (slapnumber == 18) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number18")
SendToAll(name.." gives "..insulted .." a book with the title : Masturbate yourself into another life")
elseif (slapnumber == 19) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number19")
SendToAll(insulted.." craps all over "..name)
elseif (slapnumber == 20) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number20")
SendToAll(insulted.." tells "..name.." to fuck off with those lame slaps")
elseif (slapnumber == 21) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number21")
SendToAll(name.." fills "..insulted.."'s mouth full of marshmellows until "..insulted.." suffocates")
elseif (slapnumber == 22) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number22")
SendToAll(name.." decapitates "..insulted.." then throws the head in a blender and makes pretty smoothies ")
elseif (slapnumber == 23) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number23")
SendToAll(name.." pulls out a longsword and swings it at "..insulted..", causing "..insulted.."'s legs to suddenly dissapear")
elseif (slapnumber == 24) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number24")
SendToAll(name.." stabs "..insulted.." repeatedly with a toothpick")
elseif (slapnumber == 25) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number25")
SendToAll(name.." is stuffing "..insulted.."'s rear hole with a cellphone and sets it on vibrate")
elseif (slapnumber == 26) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number26")
SendToAll(name.." grabs "..insulted.."'s legs and ties them into a sailor's knot")
elseif (slapnumber == 27) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number27")
SendToAll(name.." scrapes last weeks pizza from the floor and throws it in "..insulted .."'s face")
elseif (slapnumber == 28) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number28")
SendToAll(name.." drags "..insulted.." up the Sears Tower to learn "..insulted.." how to fly without a parachute")
elseif (slapnumber == 29) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number29")
SendToAll(name.." uses "..insulted.." to feed our hubs pet-crocodiles")
elseif (slapnumber == 30) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number30")
SendToAll(name.." tells "..insulted.." : I sensed the force was strong in you, until I crapped all over you")
elseif (slapnumber == 31) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number31")
SendToAll(name.." tells "..insulted.." : I sensed the force was strong in you, until I crapped all over you")
elseif (slapnumber == 32) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number32")
SendToAll("The infamous "..name.." is trying to suck up to "..insulted)
elseif (slapnumber == 33) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number33")
SendToAll(name.." is resorting to brute force, using it to hammer away at "..insulted.."'s system, making certain the RIAA cannot find any evidence anymore")
elseif (slapnumber == 34) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number34")
SendToAll(name.." slaps "..insulted.." with Osama Bin Laden")
elseif (slapnumber == 35) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number35")
SendToAll(name.." pulls out a magnum and sticks it into "..insulted.."'s mouth and tells "..insulted.." : You better swallow")
elseif (slapnumber == 36) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number36")
SendToAll(name.." slaps "..insulted.." with George W. Bush")
elseif (slapnumber == 37) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number37")
SendToAll(name.." slaps "..insulted.." with a used diaper")
elseif (slapnumber == 38) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number38")
SendToAll(name.." tells an op that "..insulted.." is the biggest leecher of them all")
elseif (slapnumber == 39) then
tinsert(slapstatus,"number39")
SendToAll(insulted.." knows that "..name.." is just jealous because "..insulted.." gets all the girls")
end
end
continued 3
function GetTCJoke()
boolean, jokenumber = GetNumber(jokecount,tcstatus)
while (boolean == "false") do
boolean, jokenumber = GetNumber(jokecount,tcstatus)
end
if (jokenumber == 1) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number1")
SendToAll(tcbot,"A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts.")
SendToAll(tcbot,"The shrink says, 'Well, I can clearly see you're nuts.'")
elseif (jokenumber == 2) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number2")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.")
SendToAll(tcbot,"And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin.")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Colin.")
elseif (jokenumber == 3) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number3")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet.")
elseif (jokenumber == 4) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number4")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other 'your round.' The other one says 'so are you, you fat bast**d!'")
elseif (jokenumber == 5) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number5")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Two cannibals eating a clown.")
SendToAll(tcbot,"One says to the other 'Does this taste funny to you?'")
elseif (jokenumber == 6) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number6")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.")
SendToAll(tcbot,"They charged one and let the other one off.")
elseif (jokenumber == 7) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number7")
SendToAll(tcbot,"You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice.")
elseif (jokenumber == 8) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number8")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I went to buy some camoflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.")
elseif (jokenumber == 9) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number9")
SendToAll(tcbot,"What's brown and sounds like a bell?")
SendToAll(tcbot,"DUNG!")
elseif (jokenumber == 10) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number10")
SendToAll(tcbot,"What do you call a fish with no eyes?")
SendToAll(tcbot,"A fsh.")
elseif (jokenumber == 11) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number11")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Cos it's strange, isn't it. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"You stand in the middle of a library and go 'Aaaaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.")
elseif (jokenumber == 12) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number12")
SendToAll(tcbot,"He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.'")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'")
elseif (jokenumber == 13) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number13")
SendToAll(tcbot,"And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this is my livelihood.'")
elseif (jokenumber == 14) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number14")
SendToAll(tcbot,"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'")
elseif (jokenumber == 15) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number15")
SendToAll(tcbot,"So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"He said Hundreds & thousands?' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I said 'We'll start with one.' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"He said 'Knickerbocker glory?' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.'")
elseif (jokenumber == 16) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number16")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I went to Millets and said 'I want to buy a tent.' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"He said 'To camp?', I said butchly! 'Sorry, I want to buy a tent.' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I said 'I also want to buy a caravan.' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"He said 'Camper?' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I said campily! 'Make your mind up.'")
elseif (jokenumber == 17) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number17")
SendToAll(tcbot,"So I went to the dentist. He said 'Say Aaah.' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I said 'Why?'")
SendToAll(tcbott,"He said 'My dog's died.'")
elseif (jokenumber == 18) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number18")
SendToAll(tcbot,"So I got home, and the phone was ringing. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'")
elseif (jokenumber == 19) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number19")
SendToAll(tcbot,"So I rang up my local swimming baths.")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?'")
SendToAll(tcbot,"He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'")
elseif (jokenumber == 20) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number20")
SendToAll(tcbot,"So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"He said 'I'm not stopping you.'")
elseif (jokenumber == 21) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number21")
SendToAll(tcbot,"So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"And I swerved. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"And then he rang up a second time and said 'You've been promoted again.' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"And I swerved again. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"And I went into a tree. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"And I said 'I careered off the road.'")
elseif (jokenumber == 22) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number22")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Man goes to the doc, with a strawberry growing out of his head. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Doc says 'I'll give you some cream to put on it.")
elseif (jokenumber == 23) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number23")
SendToAll(tcbot,"He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.")
elseif (jokenumber == 24) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number24")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home.")
SendToAll(tcbot,"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Is it common? ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"It's not unusual.")
elseif (jokenumber == 25) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number25")
SendToAll(tcbot,"A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Well, says the vet, let's have a look at him.")
SendToAll(tcbot,"So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Finally, he says 'I'm going to have to put him down.' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"What? Because he's cross-eyed?")
SendToAll(tcbot,"No, because he's really heavy.")
elseif (jokenumber == 26) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number26")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Guy goes into the doctor's. Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up my backside.")
SendToAll(tcbot,"How's that?")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Don't you start")
elseif (jokenumber == 27) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number27")
SendToAll(tcbot,"So I rang up my local swimming baths. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'")
elseif (jokenumber == 28) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number28")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"And he said, 'no, the steaks are too high.'")
elseif (jokenumber == 29) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number29")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I was cleaning out the attic the other day with the wife. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Filthy, dirty and covered with cobwebs.... but she's good with the kids...")
elseif (jokenumber == 30) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number30")
SendToAll(tcbot,"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"He picks the dog up and starts swinging it around his head. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'")
elseif (jokenumber == 31) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number31")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I went to the doctors")
SendToAll(tcbot,"He said 'I'd like you to lie on the couch'")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I said 'What for?'")
SendToAll(tcbot,"He said 'I'd like to sweep the floor'")
elseif (jokenumber == 32) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number32")
SendToAll(tcbot,"A neutron walks into a bar. ?I'd like a beer? he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer." )
SendToAll(tcbot,"?How much will that be?? asks the neutron. ?For you?? replies the bartender ?No Charge?")
elseif (jokenumber == 33) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number33")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Two Aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"The ceremony was rubbish but the Reception was Brilliant. ")
elseif (jokenumber == 34) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number34")
SendToAll(tcbot,"A man walked into the doctors, The doctor said ?I haven't seen you in a long time? ")
elseif (jokenumber == 35) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number35")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.")
elseif (jokenumber == 36) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number36")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I was driving down the motorway with my bird the other day when we got a bit frisky and decided to do something about it.")
SendToAll(tcbot,"So we decided we take the next exit, but it was a turn-off.")
elseif (jokenumber == 37) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number37")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when i woke up the pillow was gone.")
elseif (jokenumber == 38) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number38")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I went to the doctors")
SendToAll(tcbot,"He said 'What appears to be the problem?'")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I said 'I keep having the same dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away'")
SendToAll(tcbot,"He said 'How can I help?'")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I said 'Break my arms!'")
elseif (jokenumber == 39) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number39")
SendToAll(tcbot,"My wife had a go at me last night")
SendToAll(tcbot,"She said 'You'll drive me to my grave'")
SendToAll(tcbot,"'I had the car out in thirty seconds'")
elseif (jokenumber == 40) then
tinsert(tcstatus,"number40")
SendToAll(tcbot,"I went up into the attic and found a Stradivarius and a Rembrant. ")
SendToAll(tcbot,"Unfortunately Stradivarius was a terrible painter and Rembrant made lousy violins.")
end
return 0
end
continued 4
function DataArrival(user, data)
if (strsub(data, 1, 1) == "<") then
local data = strsub(data,1,strlen(data)-1)
lowcasecmd = Get1Arg(data)
local used = 0
local var1 = 0
local var2 = 0
local var3 = 0
local size1 = getn(gaggedusers)
local size2 = getn(kennyusers)
local size3 = getn(drunkusers)
for i=1,size1 do
var1 = var1 + 1
local usernick,minutes,count = nil
s,e, usernick,minutes,count = strfind(rawget(gaggedusers,var1),"(%S+)?(%S+)?(%S+)")
if (strlower(user.sName) == usernick) then
used = 1
return 1
end
end
for i=1,size2 do
var2 = var2 + 1
if (used == 0) then
local usernick,minutes,count = nil
s,e, usernick,minutes,count = strfind(rawget(kennyusers,var2),"(%S+)?(%S+)?(%S+)")
if (strlower(user.sName) == usernick) then
if (tonumber(count) GetKennyMsg(user.sName)
count = count + 1
tremove(kennyusers,var2)
tinsert(kennyusers,usernick.."?"..minutes.."?"..count)
return 1
else
SendToNick(user.sName,"Stop flooding, now you have to wait the next couple of minutes to be able to speak again")
return 1
end
end
end
end
for i=1,size3 do
var3= var3 + 1
if (used == 0) then
local usernick,minutes,count = nil
s,e, usernick,minutes,count = strfind(rawget(drunkusers,var3),"(%S+)?(%S+)?(%S+)")
if (strlower(user.sName) == usernick) then
if (tonumber(count) GetDrunkMsg(user.sName)
count = count + 1
tremove(drunkusers,var2)
tinsert(drunkusers,usernick.."?"..minutes.."?"..count)
return 1
else
SendToNick(user.sName,"Stop flooding, now you have to wait the next couple of minutes to be able to speak again")
return 1
end
end
end
end
if (user.bOperator) then
if (lowcasecmd == funscript) then
cmd, lowcasetype = nil
cmd, casetype = Get2Arg(data)
lowcasetype = strlower(casetype)
if (lowcasetype == "on") then
SendToAll("Hub-Security"," *** Fun Script has been activated")
scriptstatus = "on"
end
if (lowcasetype == "off") then
SendToAll("Hub-Security"," *** Fun Script has been deactivated")
scriptstatus = "off"
end
return 1
end
if (lowcasecmd == kenny) then
cmd,lowcasetype,lowcasenick = nil
cmd,lowcasetype,lowcasenick = Get3Arg(data)
if (lowcasetype == "on") then
rank = getUser(regfilename,lowcasenick)
if (rank=="0" or rank=="1" or rank =="2" or rank=="3" or rank=="4") then
local size = getn(kennyusers)
local var1 = 0
local found = 0
for i=1,size do
var1 = var1 + 1
if (lowcasenick == rawget(kennyusers,var1)) then
found = 1
end
end
if (found == 1) then
SendToNick(user.sName," *** "..lowcasenick.." couldn't be turned into a kenny clone: User is already a kenny clone ")
return 1
else
check = "1"
AddUser(lowcasenick,kennyusers)
SendToAll("Hub-Security"," *** "..user.sName.." has turned "..lowcasenick.." into a Kenny clone")
return 1
end
end
if (rank == "5") then
SendToNick(user.sName," *** Couldn't place "..lowcasenick.." in Kenny mode: user not found, please check the spelling ")
return 1
end
end
if (lowcasetype == "off") then
if (lowcasenick == "all") then
local size = getn(kennyusers)
local var1 = 0
for i=1,size do
var1 = var1 + 1
tremove (kennyusers,var1)
end
SendToAll("Hub-Security"," *** "..user.sName.." has turned all users back to their normal selves")
return 1
else
local size = getn(kennyusers)
local var1 = 0
local found = 0
for i=1,size do
var1 = var1 + 1
s,e, usernick,minutes,count = strfind(rawget(kennyusers,var1),"(%S+)?(%S+)?(%S+)")
if (lowcasenick == usernick) then
tremove (kennyusers,var1)
SendToAll("Hub-Security"," *** "..user.sName.." has turned "..lowcasenick.." back to the users normal self")
found = 1
end
end
if ( found == 0 ) then
SendToNick(user.sName,"Hub-Security"," *** "..lowcasenick.." could not be turned into normal self since "..lowcasenick.." wasn't turned into a Kenny clone")
end
return 1
end
end
end
if (lowcasecmd == gag) then
cmd,lowcasetype,lowcasenick = nil
cmd,lowcasetype,lowcasenick = Get3Arg(data)
if (lowcasetype == "on") then
rank = getUser(regfilename,lowcasenick)
if (rank=="0" or rank=="1" or rank =="2" or rank=="3" or rank=="4") then
local size = getn(gaggedusers)
local var1 = 0
local found = 0
for i=1,size do
var1 = var1 + 1
if (lowcasenick == rawget(gaggedusers,var1)) then
found = 1
end
end
if (found == 1) then
SendToNick(user.sName," *** Couldn't gag "..lowcasenick.." : User already gagged ")
return 1
else
check = "1"
AddUser(lowcasenick,gaggedusers)
SendToAll("Hub-Security"," *** "..user.sName.." has gagged: "..lowcasenick)
return 1
end
end
if(rank == "5") then
SendToNick(user.sName," *** Couldn't gag "..lowcasenick.." : user not found, please check the spelling ")
return 1
end
end
if (lowcasetype == "off") then
if (lowcasenick == "all") then
local size = getn(gaggedusers)
local var1 = 0
for i=1,size do
var1 = var1 + 1
tremove (gaggedusers,var1)
end
SendToAll("Hub-Security"," *** All users have been ungagged")
return 1
else
local size = getn(gaggedusers)
local var1 = 0
local found = 0
for i=1,size do
var1 = var1 + 1
local usernick,minutes,count = nil
s,e, usernick,minutes,count = strfind(rawget(gaggedusers,var1),"(%S+)?(%S+)?(%S+)")
if (lowcasenick == usernick) then
tremove (gaggedusers,var1)
SendToAll("Hub-Security"," *** "..user.sName.." has ungagged: "..lowcasenick)
found = 1
end
end
if ( found == 0 ) then
SendToNick(user.sName," *** "..lowcasenick.." could not be ungagged since "..lowcasenick.." isn't gagged")
end
end
return 1
end
end
if (lowcasecmd == drunk) then
cmd,lowcasetype,lowcasenick = nil
cmd,lowcasetype,lowcasenick = Get3Arg(data)
if (lowcasetype == "on") then
rank = getUser(regfilename,lowcasenick)
if (rank=="0" or rank=="1" or rank =="2" or rank=="3" or rank=="4") then
local size = getn(drunkusers)
local var1 = 0
local found = 0
for i=1,size do
var1 = var1 + 1
if (lowcasenick == rawget(drunkusers,var1)) then
found = 1
end
end
if (found == 1) then
SendToNick(user.sName," *** Couldn't turn "..lowcasenick.." into a drunk: User already are a drunk ;) ")
return 1
else
check = "1"
AddUser(lowcasenick,drunkusers)
SendToAll("Hub-Security"," *** "..user.sName.." has turned "..lowcasenick.." into a drunk")
return 1
end
end
if(rank == "5") then
SendToNick(user.sName," *** Couldn't turn "..lowcasenick.." into a drunk : user not found, please check the spelling ")
return 1
end
end
if (lowcasetype == "off") then
if (lowcasenick == "all") then
local size = getn(drunkusers)
local var1 = 0
for i=1,size do
var1 = var1 + 1
tremove (drunkusers,var1)
end
SendToAll("Hub-Security"," *** All users have been turned normal")
return 1
else
local size = getn(drunkusers)
local var1 = 0
local found = 0
for i=1,size do
var1 = var1 + 1
local usernick,minutes,count = nil
s,e, usernick,minutes,count = strfind(rawget(drunkusers,var1),"(%S+)?(%S+)?(%S+)")
if (lowcasenick == usernick) then
tremove (drunkusers,var1)
SendToAll("Hub-Security"," *** "..user.sName.." has turned "..lowcasenick.." into normal")
found = 1
end
end
if ( found == 0 ) then
SendToNick(user.sName," *** "..lowcasenick.." could not be turned back into normal since"..lowcasenick.." wasn't drunk")
end
end
return 1
end
end
end
if (scriptstatus =="on") then
if (lowcasecmd == slap) then
cmd, casetype = nil
cmd, casetype = Get2Arg(data)
GetSlapMsg(user.sName,casetype)
return 1
end
if (lowcasecmd == tc) then
GetTCJoke()
return 0
end
if (lowcasecmd == beer) then
cmd, casetype = nil
cmd, casetype = Get2Arg(data)
SendToAll(beerbot," __________________________________")
SendToAll(beerbot," _____ff l")
SendToAll(beerbot," ,_____] ?__l ' "..casetype)
SendToAll(beerbot," l __,__ --- '_________________________________l")
SendToAll(beerbot," =/( o )\=====----( o )-( o )\ ( o )-( o )\ ")
SendToAll(beerbot," ")
return 0
end
end
end
end
its an extre,ely long script so if u can help me weneva plz do!
thanx u very much well appreciated
Devastator