Author Topic: WordsOfWisdom Random Messages/quotes  (Read 1403 times)

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Offline gOOfus

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WordsOfWisdom Random Messages/quotes
« on: 20 April, 2004, 02:04:28 »
This is an altered Elfbot to send random quotes.

mintime = 6000000 --// Minimum time between chatter (milliseconds)
maxtime = 12000000 --// Maximum time between chatter (milliseconds)
prefix = "[-=WordsOfWisdom-=]" --// prefix to random chatters names
heh = 1 --// Start script off or on 1=on 0=off

--// Random chatters names
bot = {

--//Phrases they say
convos = {
"It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it. Mark Twain",
"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. Mark Twain",
"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. Mark Twain",
"The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them. Mark Twain",
"Man is the Only Animal that Blushes. Or needs to. Mark Twain",
"The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot. Mark Twain",
"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. Lily Tomlin",
"I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers. Gandhi",
"When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Albert Einstein",
"The nice thing about meditation is that it makes doing nothing quite respectable. Paul Dean",
"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk. Stephen King",
"If you water it and it dies, it's a plant. If you pull it out and it grows back, it's a weed. Gallagher",
"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Groucho Marx",
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain",
"If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything. Mark Twain",
"In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed in making those idiots understand their language.. Mark Twain",
"In religion and politics, people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination. Mark Twain",
"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt. Mark Twain",
"I'm going to Iowa for an award. Then I'm appearing at Carnegie Hall, it's sold out. Then I'm sailing to France to be honored by the French government. I'd give it all up for one erection. Groucho Marx",
"I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself. Groucho Marx",
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it .  Groucho Marx",
"I've known and respected your husband for many years, and what's good enough for him is good enough for me. Groucho Marx",
"Last night I shot an elephant in my Pajamas and how he got in my pajamas I'll never know. Groucho Marx",
"Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes. Frieda Norris",
"If it weren't for the killings, Washington would have one of the lowest crime rates in the country. Mayor Marion Barry",
"Seven out of ten people suffer from hemmorhoids. Does this mean that the other three enjoy it? Sal Davino",
"Conscience is the inner voice warning us that someone may be looking. HL Mencken",
"The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget is once. E Joseph Cossman",
"Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others. Oscar Wilde",
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have for instance. Franklin P. Jones",
"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching. Satchel Paige",
"To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girl friends. Benjamin Franklin",
"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry",
"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often. Oliver Herford",
"Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. Doug Larson",
"God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. Voltaire",
"Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo. H.G. Wells",
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. Oscar Wilde",
"America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up. Oscar Wilde",
"America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. Oscar Wilde",
"Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months. Oscar Wilde",
"(Asked if he believed in clubs for women, Fields responded:) Yes, if every other form of persuasion fails. W C Fields",
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.  Winston Churchill",
"The Americans will always do the right thing... after they've exhausted all the alternatives.  Winston Churchill",
"You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. Sacha Guitry",  
"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? Abraham Lincoln",
"A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. Mark Twain",
"A man's only as old as the woman he feels. Groucho Marx",
"Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them. Abraham Lincoln",
"Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth. George Burns",
"By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it. George Burns",
"First of all you've got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. George Burns",
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring close-knit family in another city. George Burns",
"The best way to get a bad law repealed is to enforce it strictly. Abraham Lincoln",
"Happiness is a good martini, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman . . . or a bad woman, depending on how much happiness you can stand. George Burns",
"I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. George Burns",
"If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very few people die past the age of a hundred. George Burns",
"It's hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. George Burns",
"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair. George Burns",
"You've got to be honest; if you can fake that, you've got it made. George Burns",
"Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. Groucho Marx",
"Although it is generally known, I think it's about time to announce that I was born at a very early age. Groucho Marx",
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. Groucho Marx",
"Blood's not thicker than money. Groucho Marx",
"Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped. Groucho Marx",
"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it. Groucho Marx",
"He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot. Groucho Marx",
"Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet! Groucho Marx ",
"How do you feel about women's rights ? I like either side of them. Groucho Marx",
"I could dance with you till the cows come home, on second thought I'll dance with the cows till you come home. Groucho Marx",
"I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book. Groucho Marx",
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. Groucho Marx",
"Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. Groucho Marx",
"Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. Groucho Marx",
"Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.  Groucho Marx",
"Marriage is a wonderful institution...but who wants to live in an institution? Groucho Marx",
"Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here! Groucho Marx",
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.  Groucho Marx",
"Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. Groucho Marx",
"Remember men, you are fighting for this lady's honor; which is probably more than she ever did. Groucho Marx",
"She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon. Groucho Marx",
"There's only one way to find out if a man is honest...ask him. If he says 'yes,' you know he is a crook. Groucho Marx",
"There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit...retire! Groucho Marx",
"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. Groucho Marx",
"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Groucho Marx",
"We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next year. Groucho Marx",
"Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. Groucho Marx",
"Women should be obscene and not heard. Groucho Marx",
"You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it.  Groucho Marx",
"A man in love is like a clipped coupon -- it's time to cash in. Mae West",
"A hard man... is good to find. Mae West",
"Give a man a free hand... and he'll run it all over you. Mae West",
"Good sex is like good Bridge... If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. Mae West",
"Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Mae West",
"It's not the men in my life that counts -- it's the life in my men. Mae West",
"I used to be Snow White... but I drifted. Mae West",
"It's better to be looked over, than overlooked. Mae West",
"Those who are easily shocked... should be shocked more often. Mae West",
"When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before. Mae West",
"When I'm good I'm very good, but when I'm bad I'm better. Mae West",
"When a girl goes wrong, men go right... after her. Mae West",
"Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. Mark Twain",
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain",
"Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. Mark Twain.",
"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain.",
"I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. Mark Twain",
"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him. Mark Twain",

--// This function is fired at the serving start
function Main()

--// This function is fired when a new data arrives
function DataArrival(curUser, sData)
s,e,cmd = strfind(sData,"%b<>%s++(%S+)")
if cmd ~= nil then cmd = (strsub(cmd,1,strlen(cmd)-1)) end
if (cmd == "wowon") then
heh = 1
wow = bot[random(1,getn(bot))]
return 1
elseif (cmd == "wowoff") then
heh = 0
wow = bot[random(1,getn(bot))]
SendToAll ("[-=WordsOfWisdom=-]", "..")
return 1
s,e,inpm = strfind(sData,"$(To:)")
s,e,question = strfind(sData,"(?)")
if question ~= nil and inpm == nil then
qa = 1
--// name[curUser.sName] = curUser.sName --// for later usages

function OnTimer()
if heh == 1 and qa ~= 1 then
wow = bot[random(1,getn(bot))]
chatter = convos[random(1,getn(convos))]
SendToAll(prefix.."", chatter)

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WordsOfWisdom Random Messages/quotes
« on: 20 April, 2004, 02:04:28 »

Offline kepp

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« Reply #1 on: 20 April, 2004, 06:49:03 »
[*code]   [*/code]

PtokaX forum

(No subject)
« Reply #1 on: 20 April, 2004, 06:49:03 »